Are You Okay? The List Can Overwhelm

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It’s been a long week coming off the July 4th holiday. Getting back into the swing of a shortened week produced a long list that I’m sure we are all familiar with: work, commute, volunteering, kids’ extracurricular activities and, hopefully, a bit of respite in eating dinner out.

Thursday night, I drove from work to our youngest son’s swim meet a few communities over. Major highway closures and utility work had the most direct routes blocked, causing me to traverse three very unfamiliar roundabouts, causing just a bit of stress to the evening. The swim meet went well and we were on towards home, stopping off at a restaurant for dinner.

We got settled in, got beverages, an appetizer and put in our order. A pretty full room We watched other patrons be seated and slowly, but surely, they started to receive their entrees before we did. Time dragged on, we made small talk and the waiter came back. Now, being at the table for nearly an hour, he asked how we were doing. I glanced at my watch and asked if we were close to getting our food. He sort of stared at me and said he would check. After a few more minutes he comes back and apologizes, saying the computer had a glitch and our order wasn’t entered. “Hopefully, 10 more minutes.”

Being of the understanding kind, all three of us nodded and he went about his business. By this time, I started in on the checklist for Friday and the weekend in my head. I must have had quite a look on my face and actually rested my chin on top of my clasped hands, probably with a bit of a scowl, mentally listing all the different things coming up. And then something happened…

A few tables over, two guys were eating pizza. Probably in their 20s just minding their own business. As I’m adding to my mental list, I think my head tilted a bit more forward to the point I’m rubbing my forehead. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone approach. At first I thought it was the waiter, but it was one of the guys eating pizza. He said:

“Are you okay? When you first came in here, all of you seemed to be laughing and talking and now, well…you seem sad.”

I remarked that the waiter hadn’t gotten our order in and it was beyond an hour. He said “Well, I just wanted to check on you.” He turned and walked away. I said “Thank you for checking on me. That’s really nice of you.” He went back and we didn’t acknowledge one another the rest of the time.

My wife remarked “Is he a manager?” I said “No, just some guy eating pizza.” Now maybe I looked like I was despondent or having some sort of emergency. But, to me, that was something I really needed at that moment, but didn’t know it until afterwards. Once I reflected on the encounter I realized:

It’s easy for us to get caught up in our lists and disappear from the present. Once disengaged, it’s easy to look down at your phone or fret about the next day or week.

That guy didn’t have to do that. He didn’t need to make the effort to walk over. But for some reason, he was inclined to inquire. A lesson for all of us to check in…to check in on ourselves, others and even complete strangers, in this situation. To ask if we’re okay.

It’s important to be reminded to stay present and be in the moment. It took a total stranger to get up from his seat and conversation to see if I was okay. It was a simple gesture that will stay with me for some time.